Are You Building Rapport?

by  David C. Miller

 

A critical aspect to your success in sales is your ability to build rapport with your prospects.  Rapport means "to have an unconscious understanding with someone.”  It creates a relationship of responsiveness.  Isn’t it true that people are more responsive to people who are like them or people who are like who they want to be? 

 

Rapport consists of three things:

 

1.  Affinity – a genuine concern for the other person.  The old saying is true: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”  It’s vital that your prospect know that you have their best interest in mind.

2.  Shared reality – you understand where they are coming from…you have things in common

3.  Communication – for this affinity and shared reality to have impact it must be communicated in some way.

 

Here are six ways to effectively establish and build rapport with your prospects:

 

1.  Enter their world

The most effective way to do this is to ask effective questions about their needs and wants.  Don’t assume or try to read their mind.  Ask questions and REALLY listen.  Listening in itself is a great rapport-builder because it is so rare today when someone really listens to someone else.

 

             2.  Give them incredible value

This can be a gift, a referral, or great service before they become a customer/client.  Instantly you’ll have rapport by inducing reciprocation.

 

3.  Match their tonality

Mirroring a prospects voice tonality can be a subtle yet effective way to build rapport.  If your prospect tends to talk very slowly and you’re talking at the speed of light, chances are you are breaking some of the connection between you.  Try to match tempo, volume and pitch for stronger rapport.

 

4.  Match their word choices (learning modality)

People’s word choices reveal their learning modalities.  Some people are primarily visual.  They think in pictures, talk quickly and use hand gestures.  Communicate with visual prospects in terms of how things look.  For example, you could ask questions like “What can you see happening in this relationship?”

 

Auditory prospects learn best by listening.  They are typically interested in gaining information that includes details and facts and tend to speak in a steady tempo.    You want to communicate with these prospects in terms of facts and how things sound.  For example, after you make a recommendation or proposal you may ask “How does that sound to you?”

 

People that are primarily kinesthetic tend to talk more slowly and quietly.    They tend operate more from their gut.  Communicate with these prospects in terms of how things feel.  For example, you may ask:  “What’s your sense about this?” or “What would help you feel comfortable with moving forward?”

 

5.  Match their feelings

People’s word choices often contain feelings that have a very specific meaning for them.  You may feel that it is more effective to paraphrase someone’s words in conversation, but this can actually break rapport.  When a prospect says they are frustrated by the way things are going, it is more effective to ask them, “What about that frustrates you the most?” rather than “What about that is stressful to you?”  This is because the word “frustrated” contains a specific emotional picture for them.  Being stressed out probably means something altogether different.

 

6.  Match their body language

This method of building rapport is very powerful because body language represents 55% of communication (tonality and words make up the balance).  Here you match and mirror things like posture, gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, breathing and proximity.  As powerful as this approach is, it is also very risky unless you’re really good at it.  Until you feel proficient with matching body language, stick with matching tones, words and feelings – those skills will take you a long way in building rapport.

 

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© 2004  David C. Miller.  All Rights Reserved.

You are free to use this material  in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read: "By David C. Miller of Miller & Associates: Business Growth Strategies. Please visit David's web site at www.BusinessGrowthNow.com for additional resources on business development for professionals ."

 

 

 

 

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